A More Full Bodied Return

                I am fat. Again – or still, perhaps. Not obese, although bordering on it sadly. I broke my hand and that stopped me going to the gym and other exercises, although on the running front that was just me being lethargic. But as of last week I have run twice a week for 20-25 minutes and will be extended that to about 30 minutes from next week onwards. Thanks goes to my brother who’s come along on the runs, making them less of a trial. A couple of friends have also got into the idea of exercising and have asked me to assist them – which is a great opportunity for me! I will also have to get back into the habit of chasing people to come running or exercising with me.

                How did the back-sliding begin though? I had such high hopes, so much motivation! Where did it all go wrong? Well, the motivation flagged and I became a little disillusioned with it all. I felt like I was out of control, and I rebelled against the diet – I ate what I want, when I wanted and told myself I’d make it up later with exercise, or that it was a one off indulgence. Clearly a one-off indulgence every day is not, in fact, a limited diet.

                I lost focus. That’s the long and short of it. I was so close to my goal I slackened off on my not-quite-ironclad grip on what and when I ate, thinking it would be okay. Over two or three months I did this more and more, being able to excuse each extravagance as a ‘treat’ or a ‘rarity’. This wasn’t the case. I was lying to myself, and I was good at it. Having put on more than a stone, I now weigh 206lbs again. That’s a lot of back sliding. I unimpressed, disappointed and angry. Which initially makes me want to comfort eat, which is very frustrating.

                So the runs are step one. Step two was signing back up to MyFitnessPal. Many people fault this app/website, frown or brush off calorie counting and are generally derisive about the idea of recording their intake and exercise regime. It’s effort, I get that, and no, it might not be 100% accurate 100% of the time but it is far, far better than nothing. It gives you an actual record, a list, a trail of your successes and failures, it can give you an impression of what should be cut from your diet and where and when. And really, it’s maybe 5-10 minutes out of your day. The reason people don’t want to do it, that they’re sceptical of it, is that they don’t believe in it. Signing up and filling it out daily will not physically make you lose weight, but it will help you find ways that you can.

                It will also tell where you are going wrong. This is a big factor in why people don’t want to use it; it will force them to either admit their weight is due to something that they are doing, that it’s something that is caused by them and it is a consequence of their actions. This is understandable, it is natural, and it is a massive problem if you actually want to lose weight. Who cares how it started, or if it’s your fault, or how long it’s happened for – stop it now. Get past it, move on and then you’ll be able to fix it.

                Step three, for me, is this blog. It helps keep dieting and exercise in the front of my mind – if I have nothing to report on here, then I clearly haven’t be working that hard! So expect some more posts, hopefully entertaining, informative or both, and if you’ve got any questions, quietly sticking away in the back of your mind about it, or to help someone you know and care about who is doing what I did and procrastinating on something I want to do, know I should do, but don’t want to face up to the full responsibility of doing. I’ll help however I can – even if it’s just bugging you to come running!

 

               

‘Twas the season to be fatty….

                (This is a long over due post so it might be a bit late to help with the Christmas/Chanukah/Festive feasting but hopefully it help some people maintain resolve going forward)

                It is remarkably difficult not to over-eat during the Christmas period. There is so much good food and so many social events that put you near that same food, it’s basically an impossibility to avoid gorging yourself on the seasonal delights available. Other people aren’t much help either; “Diet? It’s Christmas!” is the general line they come out with. While it is full of Christmas cheer it left myself feeling nervous and wary of anything resembling and eating area.

                What is my advice for dealing with this? Well, you have two options. Either you can avoid it and stick to your weight-loss guns. This is much harder than normal because everyone is likely to be encouraging you to eat more – sometimes to help them excuse their own over-eating, I’ll point out; it’s okay if everyone’s doing it. Or you can accept that your diet will take a hit, that you won’t lose much weight and may in fact put some on. Having drunk my weekly supply of calories in about two days, I have to admit to falling in the second camp.

                I am not weighing myself until the Epiphany (6^th Jan). This will allow me to see what the damage is after the feasting has taken a downwards curve and I will (hopefully) be back to my normal eating habits. I have tried to limit myself somewhat but I early on decided that my diet should not impinge unreasonably on my enjoyment of life – and that’s early on in my diet, rather than this Christmas season. Remember – once your diet becomes the most important and only thing in your life, you’ll probably stop enjoying it. So don’t let that happen! By temporarily suspending the strictness of my diet I still get to enjoy myself and the festive period without any guilt about ‘abandoning the diet’.

                And this is because it’s not abandoned at all. I am in control of it and while, yes, I would like not have to micro-manage it every single day of my life, I have to if I want to achieve my goal. Again, these are limits put in place by me and for me; it is not a societal or cultural restriction and neither do I feel it takes away any of my freedom. This is because it doesn’t; you are only losing weight for you. Other people may benefit, or admire, or support you but at the end of the day you live with yourself every day and therefore you are the person who gets the most out of it and is therefore the reason, the target and (ideally) the most grateful beneficiary of the diet. Don’t lose sight of that.

                If someone else says, “Oh, there goes the diet!” ignore them. Ignore that stab of annoyance that wants to reach out and cut them. Ignore the one of guilt that makes you want to stop eating or go and throw up. Ignore the fact they, in that one action, have intimately reminded you that they don’t fully understand what you’re trying to do. They’re just making a joke, and they mean it to be funny and without any malice. Maybe tell them later that you don’t appreciate it, or you find it unhelpful. Dieting is a sensitive issue, and one that is important and personal. Don’t let other people take away from your success, your victories, by letting these thoughtless comments get to you. 

                They just don’t understand. I used to get defensive about these comments, or try to explain the difference between relaxing a diet and throwing it away entirely. I never felt either course of action was particularly successful. Now I try to say, “Just for today,” or “It’s a special occasion,” but this doesn’t make it any easier. There’s usually a wistful expression, a brief conflict with personal responsibility and then I try to subtly yet pointedly stop eating while looking troubled. Gradually the ‘so much for the diet!’ comments are disappearing as a result of this passive-aggressive strategy.

                It’s not other people’s fault that they don’t necessarily understand or foresee the effects of their comments. They just see you enjoying yourself and want to be part of it, or want you to share in their enjoyment. It is, after all, the festive season; it is the season to be feasting. So give yourself a break, don’t get depressed about how much food ends up on your plate and enjoy yourself. I’ll see you all again on the sixth of January, where I’ll share in your rueful stories of celebration and talk in more detail about my own! Merry Christmas, Happy Chanukah, a fantastic celebration of whatever you celebrate and good tidings to all who don’t!

 

The Old War Horse

               I managed three runs last week; one with my neighbour, one with a work friend and even one by myself. It was a net total of about an hour to an hour-ten on the run but I put some effort into pushing myself to run a little faster than I found natural. Hopefully it was of some benefit. I also spent six hours Airsofting on Saturday evening which was some pretty good exercise itself. This feels like a good return to me regime, but obviously I want to up it a bit. This is being done by bullying my neighbour into running longer, challenging my work friend and giving myself a little more time to run. Do I feel any better for this?

                Not really. This is unfortunate, but while I’m glad I am putting the effort in I have yet to feel a return to the boundless energy I felt I had access to over the summer. This, my friends, is called ‘losing fitness’. It can happen disquietingly quickly and is quite disappoint when discovered. However, on a positive note, it’s fairly easy to regain. I definitely don’t feel as unfit as I once was – not by a long shot – and I’m still quite comfortable doing twenty minute runs, even at higher speeds. However, half an hour is looking much harder than it once was. 

                The only way to fix this is with the application of effort. It’s not necessarily an enjoyable process but it’s going to be a rewarding one. So I’m pushing myself back into exercise, despite the cold weather, and trying to cut back on the zero-value foods I eat (potato has crept back into my diet and I feel this is the biggest reason for my difficulty). This is somewhat of a loss, but only in a superficial sense; my long term fitness and health will certainly benefit from it. But isn’t wanting to look good in and of itself actually a superficial attitude?

                The question arises after my brother recently asked me whether I thought he was shallow or not. This in turn made me question whether or not my focus on fitness and physical appearance was a shallow pursuit – and then, in turn, whether this was necessarily a bad thing. My conclusion was that it was shallow, but that it wasn’t bad or wrong of me.

                Why is it shallow? Well, I’m purely basing a virtue upon its outward appearance, with no closer analysis. Since my analysis of the problem lacked depth – I was fat, I wanted to not be fat/look attractive – the decision itself to lose could not help but lack depth. I was trying to increase my apparent worth based upon my physical appearance; the very definition of shallow! How could I ever doubt that it was for shallow or superficial reasons?

                Well, that’s all wrapped up in why it wasn’t a bad or wrong thing to decide. Firstly, I certainly do not judge my entire worth – material, intellectual and spiritual – upon how I look. I did not consider myself a ‘bad’ person because I was fat. It wasn’t morally wrong to be fat, nor ethically. As such my losing weight only affected myself in any serious way – my friends nor more like or dislike me now that I have lost weight compared to when I hadn’t, for example. They are impressed and encouraging, but it is a personal change for a personal benefit, and it was always going to be that way. So there was no socio-cultural fallout from me losing weight, nor was anyone harmed or hurt by it. Ergo, not morally wrong.

                Secondly (I do love my quasi-numbered paragraphs, don’t I?) there was the desire for attention – to be found attractive. I feel I, as a personality (a mind, philosophically speaking) was always attractive. I say this not to boast but to clarify and confirm that I did not and do not judge my worth purely upon my physical appearance. This said, losing weight has undeniably made me look and feel more physically attractive. Is that bad? Certainly not. It would be if I lorded it over others, or made people feel bad about how they look, but I have not done this in any way – at least, not deliberately or with intent and I hope in no other way at all. So again, though shallow in decision there is nothing ‘bad’ or ‘wrong’ with it. 

                Thirdly and finally, humans are visual animals – evolved as predators or created as stewards, either role or belief makes us primarily visual beings. We definitely judge each other based on appearance; we’re wired to, we can’t help it. Closing your mind against revising that judgement is wherein lies the sin - social, moral and ethical. As long as you do not use just physical appearance as your sole measure of someone and their worth, you’re okay to make judgments about it. 

This also prevents the arguments use as a defence for not losing weight – “I’m not a shallow or judgmental person!” doesn’t mean being overweight makes you a better person. Just as surely it doesn’t make you a bad person, but please do not try to hide behind moral betterment to disguise a refusal to motivate yourself. Just as there is nothing wrong with being overweight, there is equally nothing wrong with being in shape.

 

Time to Get Fuel Efficient Again

                I almost hit 14 stone again! Fourteen! That’s a shocking increase of around 7lbs over two months – effectively undoing six weeks work. This is obviously disappointing. I have, over the last month, fought it down to 13st and 10lbs which has cheered me up a bit but it was scarily easy for me to slip back into gaining wait at quite a drastic pace. So how did it happen?

                I basically stopped running. Again. No real reason – maybe because it gets dark earlier. This isn’t an I’m-afraid-of-the-dark thing; running on tarmac is horrible and running through woods when you can’t see where you’re going is dangerous. So how am I remedying this? Going to the gym and using the treadmill. It’s an awful lot more dull but I’d rather go there and get it done than continue sliding into being a slob. It also gives me a chance to use other machines – rowers, cycles, weights – that mean I can balance my exercise regime somewhat.

                To put it in perspective this time last year I was much more regimented in my work out – three times a week, set times on each machine – even though (maybe because?) I was a lot less fit. What happened then, that changed my attitude? Because that’s clearly what has changed – I still need to lose weight and getting fitter is always good.

                Firstly, I had a lot more weight to lose; it was much more pressing as an issue. Without checking I think I was about 2-2.5 stone heavier, which is a lot of extra weight. I saw on a youtube video advertising some sort of health food/protein shake/miracle thingy (a really credible source in other words) that the average man is about seventeen pounds overweight. By that (debatably accurate) standard I am an average man now – back then I was over twice as much overweight as was average. What a depressing thought! But it probably drove me a lot harder than the comfort being within the ‘average weight’ category does. So I’m assigning myself a new objective off of the back of that: lose seventeen pounds. This is a very different and much more focused objective than a general weight-loss goal and I’m hoping it’ll keep me on track. Coming up to Christmas, I appreciate I’m in for a tough challenge.

                Secondly I was trying to impress someone – or perhaps wanting to impress them too much is a better way of putting it. Either way, I have a very different mind-set now; I’m still trying to impress people (including, importantly, myself) but in what is, quite frankly, a less desperate manner. However, I’m also trying to get some writing published, apply for university next year, hunt down promotion opportunities at work and maybe fit exercise in the middle of all that and a full time job. Because I have so much other things going on in my life (which is good) my self-esteem is higher and as such while I certainly want to exercise and do so, it is more on an as and when basis rather than an obsessive one-track-mind kind of way. I think this actually makes me a much more interesting and attractive person so I’m not too disappointed.

                Thirdly I’m still resting on my laurels somewhat – I have to thank a lot of people for the compliments and congratulations they have been giving me. Dys, Steely, and Catherine are the most recent people to be vocal about it specifically – albeit Steely did so at urinal in a pub toilet which was awkward for everyone except him – but all of it is appreciated. I mention these three specifically because it their comments were made in such an open or honest way I was actually nearly speechless with gratitude. I’d like people who know me to notice the word ‘nearly’; I accept that my mouth runs on emergency arrogance when my brain doesn’t provide it with something to say. So if you complimented me or even commented on my weight-loss and I’ve not said anything or been a bit of a Richard about it then that’s because I was grateful and appreciative. However, your comments have made me unfortunately comfortable with my weight and shape, so through my own error I’ve slacked off.

                Remedies for this are basically as listed above – set a different style of objective. With more focus I hope to retain it. My next door neighbour is embarking on a 10k run next year – something I’m not sure I could manage anymore – so I’m dragging her to the gym twice a week for some practice, building my stamina back up and hopefully also improving as well. I will restart my yoga classes and other exercise I do/did so that I at least have something resembling a regime. The big lesson? Make time for your weight loss, otherwise all your good intentions and effort may be wasted.

Reach for the stars

                I’m putting on weight again. This is directly linked to both a decrease in my regular exercise and a recent holiday. I’m hovering around the thirteen-and-a-half stone mark which mean I’ve maintained my weight well but also that I’ve completely failed to lose any over the past month or so. Is this due to a lack in motivation? A growth in apathy? Or perhaps am I just happy with where I am.

                Addressing the first factor in that short list of possibilities, I have not lost motivation at all – if anything, my life is full of it. I get constant support from a variety of sources for my endeavours thus far and my efforts to continue. I still enjoy it exercise, so that’s certainly not a factor, and I definitely want to lose a bit more weight. Part of this comes from a recent fitness video where I was informed that the average adult man is seventeen pounds overweight; I’m eighteen pounds overweight – making me pretty damn close to average! Now, I appreciate being told that you’re eighteen pounds overweight isn’t something that is traditionally worthy of celebration, but being in that category makes me feel great.

                However, it is no reason to rest upon my laurels; I am, after all, still eighteen pounds over-weight. This gives me a target, and one that is certainly achievable. I will just have to work harder than I am already to reach it. I believe my exercise regime has ‘got comfortable’ and so is no longer really reaching the level I need it to. So I can up that to help which shouldn’t be too difficult because, if I’m honest, my ‘regime’ is fairly minimal.

               

                Secondly, has my apathy towards the idea grown? I can’t say I’m totally innocent of this – I’m just not making the time, or when I have the time I’m not making the effort. I can excuse not exercising very easily, and my success only makes this easier. But if I’m to keep achieving results then I have to keep caring about it. It’s no use knowing the facts and how to deal with them if you don’t care enough to follow your action plan. There’s no use dwelling on the plateaus you reach when there are further heights to climb to.

                Am I happy with where I am? Yes. I’m confident, I’m healthier, fitter, and I no longer look like an emergency doughnut disposal officer (a very serious occupation that is definitely completely real). I enjoy myself doing nearly everything I do, and I enjoy a wide range of activities. In fact, I’m doing so much – and enjoying all of it – that I find that I’m cutting into time I would otherwise use to exercise. And I’m happy with that, because I like where I am. It feels good and I’m comfortable. But so is sitting in a very good armchair all day.

                I clearly know what my problem is; I’m enjoying my success too much. It’s not that I don’t do exercise – I just don’t do it enough. The only dedicated time I have now is three hours on Sundays and that’s far from regular enough to really help me lose weight or shape. I do daily exercises in the form of press ups, crunches, tricep dips, planking and squats but that’s all muscle work; while it definitely makes me sweat it lack any serious cardio or stamina work which really helps burn excess pounds.

                A quick note here about what I qualify as ‘real’ cardio or stamina work; aerobic exercise for at least thirty minutes. I’ve investigated the claim that ‘unless you run/cycle/jog/swim/chosen cardio activity for longer than twenty minutes it doesn’t do any good’ and found the statement is based on fact but actually incorrect. If you run for fifteen minutes every day but increase your speed, thereby running further, you are clearly improving. However, your body burns sugar stores first rather than fat stores so while you’re increasing your fitness you won’t be getting as much out of it weight loss wise. It is how your body is designed to work, and it makes a lot of sense – fat is intended to be stored in case of emergencies, and when we were living day to day, competing with lions/tigers/bears/whatever our local predators were we quite probably had these emergencies on a regular basis. Unfortunately (for weight maintenance rather than survival) we no longer wake up and have to worry about being eaten on a daily basis – or at all, optimally. 

                As such, weight-loss is definitely a first world problem and if you find yourself suffering from this problem please remember two very important things. First, you have a great life; if you’re primary concern is losing weight, then your life must have been pretty good up until now to get in that situation. Remember, it’s a problem caused by eating too much or on a fat filled diet – a problem you wouldn’t have if you couldn’t afford said foods. Secondly, you live in the first world! There are ways around this problem available to you each and every day. All you have to do is bite the bullet and do so.

                There was recently a report in the paper about a woman who is demanding more benefits from the UK government so she can eat healthily – “a bag of apples is as expensive as a multipack of crisps, and I can’t afford both.” She has no job, so has plenty of time in her day to walk places but doesn’t as it’s “too much effort.” I also hasten to point out that eating a bag of apples as well as the multipack of crisps is actually only going to increase her weight – remember all that stuff I said about replacing foods, not removing them entirely? – so she doesn’t need both. What she needs is to take responsibility for her own life and get on with dealing with it. As do I, although I like to think I’m less of a sponge and general waste of space than she is (not because she’s over weight but because she has no job, seven kids and refuses to lift a finger to help herself or the children. Just to clarify). What I need to do is take my destiny in my own two hands, and this is the case for 98% of all weight loss stories. So I’m going to start working harder at it today, and that is my advice to anyone else who has reached a plateau – don’t stay there, climb higher!

I’m Terribly Sorry; You Have Obesititis.

I was recently asked what my thoughts were on the idea that obesity is a disease. This is an idea I have given thought to in the past, and firmly reject. There are a couple of reasons for this, and in my usual rough-and-ready manner I will be outlining them here. This is a bit of a disclaimer – I’ve always been aware that my views are fairly hardline and sometimes a little harshly put across. Someone once even called them unsympathetic. I personally find that idea hilarious! How could I, of all people, not understand the plight of those trying to lose weight? I think it comes down to my attitude – I accepted it had been my action that caused my condition, and it would be primarily my actions that provided the way to deal with it. And I was fairly hard on myself about it; ergo, in the expression of my feelings about the subject of losing weight, I am very firm with my views.

It helps that what I’ve done has worked – I wouldn’t propagate a theory that hadn’t been successful except to annoy people, which on a subject as intimate and close to my heart as weight loss I wouldn’t do. It is a serious concern for a high number of people and one that people are constantly looking for assistance with and this blog is actually intended to help people, as much as some might be surprised I am doing anything with that goal in mind. For that reason, everything I write down is meant to entertain or advise, possibly both. Don’t like it, don’t take it but don’t for a second assume I don’t understand or appreciate how difficult a struggle fighting obesity can be.

Back to the whole ‘obesity as a disease’ subject! I’ve heard a lot of discussion about this and, while little of it was scientific or professional, I have considered a lot of different views about it. My first response to calling it a disease is that no, it cannot be one; it is an effect. Simply put, you eat too much and you get fat. That’s the base equation; some might call it harsh. But it’s not, it’s just simple. You get cut, you bleed; you get happy, you smile; you eat too much, you get fat. It is what happens. But is it fair to break it down to such a bare bones analysis? I mean, arguably if you don’t eat you lose weight and get ill. There are complications in life that we can’t rule out.

People have told me it’s genetic; you can ‘inherit’ being fat from your parents. I think, using Darwin’s law of ‘Survival of the Fittest’, this could happen over a series of generations if being obese is continued through those generations. It has to be worked towards, it’s not something you can achieve without eating a substantial amount – the human body is, after all, designed as an energy using machine. This means you have to eat more than you use before it starts to build up – sounds simple but I know I really had to put some effort into accepting that I was eating too much for my level of activity. If this happens over several generations you will be passing on an increasing ability to store fat – to get fat – to your children. So, sure it can be genetic but at the same time there needs to be a significant history of obesity in your family for it to be a big factor. 

Even then it’s more a susceptibility to obesity you are passing on rather than obesity itself. I have found no evidence of an actual gene or genetic trait that means you will be born fat, or destined to be fat. It is something you can fight, something you can struggle against. Allowing yourself to believe it is genetic and therefore inescapable means you will never believe you can avoid it. This is not evidence of it being a disease; it is evidence of it being a belief, or possibly a psychological disorder or syndrome if you don’t like the first term. I firmly believe, think, understand, appreciate, subscribe to and agree with (whichever term has more meaning for you) the idea that we can create barriers in our minds that has a powerful effect on how we behave and act – and dieting, eating and exercise habits or over-eating are all equally affected by those mental barriers. Willpower is key to everything we do, this no less.

Another reason I don’t qualify obesity as a disease; it’s not contagious or infectious. Arguably if you are in a social group or culture where obesity is the norm you are more likely to replicate this behaviour and accept it. However, this is a behavioural phenomenon or a cultural influence and there is nothing biological, viral or parasitical causing it except by the use of an artistic – and somewhat powerful – metaphor. If someone has a cold, or a stomach bug, or Ebola, sitting next to them on the bus is probably not going to end well for you (especially option three). You may not be infected but there’s a fair chance (or a terrifying chance for option three). No matter how many times you sit next to, near, around or interact with someone who is obese, this interaction alone will not make you fat.

Lastly, there is no ‘cure’ or ‘pill’ or medical service to deal with obesity. You see advertisements for ‘skinny pills’ or ‘lose fat fast’ tablets all the time; the only way this will work is either by killing your ability to feel hunger (potentially fatal and probably not good for you) or by you subscribing to the idea that they work (read: Placebo effect). If there was a pill that caused a fat-targeting bacteria or enzyme to be released in your body that someone didn’t turn out to be a flesh eating virus/parasite/bacteria then I’m pretty sure knowledge of it wouldn’t be restricted to tiny, cheap adverts on dodgy websites. 

There are ways you can lose weight, of course; exercise, concerted dieting and sheer bloody-minded determination to do so. Like I said, being fat is not some insurmountable destiny just like having a six-pack and being able to bench press another human being isn’t some God-given power available only to those who purely coincidentally hang out in gymnasiums regularly. Unless there is indeed a God and he plays far more games with us than previous thought, but somehow I doubt that; either It wanted me to lose 6 stone in a year or I achieved that by myself through my own decisions. Eating is an addiction, not a disease, and obesity is a symptom or effect of that addiction – just like yellow nails and teeth for smokers or the inability to maintain three connected thoughts for meth-addicts. So empower yourself with the knowledge you do not have to wait for a miracle cure, you can save yourself if you want to. And if you want it, go out and do it.

Killing Fat Softly II: Attack of the Fat

It’s been 3 months since I restarted my diet – I was a little lax over the whole of March, a little in celebration and a little because I was resting on my laurels. So far I’ve only lost another three pounds, putting me on 187lbs over all. I’ve had a ten day holiday in Chicago which was always going be a test of my ability to control my intake/motivate myself to exercise suitably to compensate for the fun I intend to have, but it was a challenge I relished. I didn’t very well though, so I am restarting the blog! <Cue fanfare>

                Now, I appreciate I may have appeared to give up on the diet/blog/both since March and to some extent, if I’m honest, I did. I slacked off, let my iron clad grip on my self-restraint slip slightly and began to give myself a couple more cheat days a week. This was not conducive to keeping up my rate of weight loss, as demonstrated by the above performance but I started to find it incredibly difficult to actually enjoy a meal out while still keeping to the diet. I’ve still lost some weight – and I’ve definitely indulged a little bit, had too many starters when I didn’t need to and maybe eaten a little bit much cheese.

                I have, however, been running as much as I can motivate myself to. This is about 10k a week so not a bad amount at all, in my opinion – if I was settling for being my current weight and fitness. I do not believe in settling for less, and I do not expect anyone else to settle for less on my behalf. I would rather be described as ‘impressive’ and ‘outstanding’ than ‘pretty good’ or ‘good enough’.

                So what have I done to amend my wayward weight ways? Mainly, more running. And skipping starters as well as deserts – and keeping to my promise of actually going to the gym or some kind of exercise class that isn’t just running. I want to make sure I’m not letting myself down, which I have to admit I was after I finished my first year.

                BUT NO LONGER! I’m back on the boat, the band wagon, the weight-loss diet-train and happy to be there! Or I tell myself I am at least; it’s still tough work. Easier than originally on some fronts – I am equipped with much more knowledge and armed with experience from my first year so I have better habits and behavioural patterns. However, I need to eat less to lose the same amount of weight, or work out more to allow myself to eat more. How am I managing it?

                Food first, as always! Breakfast is an epic feast of a banana and not one but two Actimel yogurts – a grand total of about 150-180 calories. This is followed by a lunch time indulgence of a whole bowl of salad and bacon strips which I count at an average of 400 calories and about four of my five/six/eight/ten portions of fruit and vegetables your meant to have each day, depending on which country you’re from. This total extravagance of about 600 calories leaves an impressive 700 for dinner, which is an absolutely massive meal of pasta, spinach, kale, asparagus, sweetcorn and some form of meet which is usually chicken unless I have some sausages available – this rare, since I don’t often buy them for fear of waking up on Saturday morning and eating all of them at once in a medicinal, hangover-fueled feast. So as you can see, my food life is full of fun and freedom. Sure, some may call this ‘impossible’ or ‘oppressive’ or, even, ‘absolutely ridiculous’. Which aren’t entirely unfair phrases.

                Which is why I exercise as well! I aim for 10-15km a week over two or three days, yoga and swimming once a week each, thirty press-ups, crunches, tricep lifts and squats a day and some assorted stretches. Intense, non? Compared with where I started – occasionally walking to/from the pub – this is an incredible amount, and being honest sucks up a lot of my time. I even do some weight lifting in my back garden with my brother something I don’t think anyone who knows me would have predicted. I wouldn’t say I enjoy it as such, but I do find it rewarding – not only is my fitness increasing but I get to eat more as well, thereby surviving on more than a starvation diet. Silver linings, right?